i really dont..

Hey, N levels are finally over..im more relax than before due to end of the exams..and this should be the time where i am enjoying myself.

I cant tell though...everyday having mix feelings..even i cant understand myself. I'm always feeling unwanted but i have good friends..and im really happy about that. But there is just this mental block that i cant ignore, im just wondering.. how important am i in their lives...deep down i know all my friends really meant something in my life..something that i would carry with me many years down the road. Memories and Lessons fills my mind everytime i think of them..

I will always try my best to avoid these thoughts..as these thoughts will make me turn into a state where i become very reluctant to the present and always wondering about the past...i dont know.

Memories from before..were like only yesterday.

Everytime i see my friends in school..it always okay, its just that we aren't as close as before. But like i said there is still this feeling in me.

Yes it might been awhile but im still feeling these slight feelings

I guess after the past incidents, it made dents in our relationship, and i doubt that we can ever be like what we were before. Looking at myself..im pathetic...i dont dare to do anything anymore

we wont even talk face to face now when we were laughing so joyfully before.

I really cant understand myself..i am really grateful for everything i have now,  but the thing is..i feel like i have been.....replaced or should i say like the substitute...i dont feel as important anymore, always having to force to do things for them to prevent anymore fighting..i dont feel like myself...

perhaps..

im not as important as what you people have stated.

Anyways, its the holiday..we all should be enjoying ..

..right?